3 men were................

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God,please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.


After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.


Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.


:sigh.....

[MADSTOCK]

Very good Susannah, very good.

Keith.:lol

[willow]

Sorry I don't understand? :sigh

Why exactly was he turned into a woman? :sigh

[MADSTOCK]

Ha ha

[peggy]

Nice one Sus.:giggle

[Celtygirl]

I was just wondering where Ole is - I'd have laid money that he would have some 'witty' riposte for this excellent (and true) joke:rofl

[oleoleole]

Ok then.........................

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said, "Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."

God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love' and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don't have time for nonsense..."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg..."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

Well so long as it is a pork spare rib that'll be ok then, won't it???



A NICE bit of crackling after all...:giggle



Boom!! Boom.....!!!


Ok, Ok you lot ...........:blush :blush.......... but someone HAD to say something, didn't they??:sigh

We can't let him get away with that .......;)

[MADSTOCK]

First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.'"
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.




Then he added a mouth.

Ruined the whole damn thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith. :giggle

[Topsy]

ROFL Keith, I like that one, even tho it is sexist. Very funny.