This is a first for me...

Now, I NEVER do jokes cos I have no sense of humour what so ever...:rolleyes

But this I could not resist!!!!:lol

When George found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.


Women are so much smarter than men....... ;)


Katie Holmes has found that out already...:giggle :giggle

[Jackie H.]

Just what I'm looking for hahaha.:giggle

[Celtygirl]

Excellent - my problem is that I never remember jokes!

PS Jackie - fab sparkles, I've even managed to do it myself - now you all know what I llok like:giggle

[sunseekers]

Good 1 that!

I see we've all gone Glitter mad, Lol!

But Jackie R U blonde or brunette or like my best friend a different colour every other week!:giggle

[sunseekers]

John and James, 2 brothers aged 7 and 5 respectavley. Where upstairs in bed one morning.

"James", said John the oldest. " I think it's about time we started to swear".

"Okay!" nodded James eagerly.

"We will start when we go downstairs", said John.

Once downstairs, their mother enters the kitchen. "Morning boys, what would you like for breakfast? she asks.

"Well SH!T mum, i think i'll have cheerios!" says John.

WHACK!!!!!

John gets a big slap, flies across the room and lands in the corner. He runs upstairs crying.

"Now James" says their mum "what would you like for breakfast?"

"I don't know mum" he says "but im sure the F**K I don't want cherios!"

[spud]

this is for you susannah has to be done in a scottish accent!

groom on his stag night says to his mate," i'm wearing a kilt tomorrow for the wedding" oh aye says the mate," so what's the tartin?" ... "oh,he says,I expect she'll be in white" !!

[Jackie H.]

:rofl Good one Spud.

[peggy]

Go to your room spud.:lol

[spud]

hey susannah started it!!

[sunseekers]

Good one! even with my appauling atempt at a scottish accent i got it! :lol

[catwoman]

He he he - like the jokes - also like the signatures - hope mine works xxx

[spud]

oh we are so the glitter girls!!!!:giggle do you think they will have boys ones too? they'll only feel left out!

[catwoman]

No - booooooooo - leave the boys out definately!!!!!!!

[mason2]

gonna be in lanzarote next week do u fancy a pint in da boozer!! sound!

[ted]

I bet you say that to all the boys