Why I Fired My Secretary...

[conker]

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...
> >
> > LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL
> > WAKING UP THAT MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR
> > BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE
> > WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND
> > POSSIBLY HAVE A
> > PRESENT FOR ME. AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD
> > MORNING,
> > LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
> >
> > I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE
> > KIDS WILL REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND
> > DIDN'T SAY A
> > WORD.
> >
> > SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY
> > LOW AND SOMEWHAT
> > DESPONDENT.
> >
> > AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID,
> > "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE
> > BETTER THAT
> > AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE
> > O'CLOCK AND THEN
> > JANE KNOCKED ON MY?DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH
> > A BEAUTIFUL DAY
> > OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO
> > LUNCH, JUST YOU AND
> > ME."
> >
> > I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE
> > HEARD ALL DAY.
> > LET'S GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE
> > WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE
> > PLACE WITH A
> > PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED
> > THE MEAL
> > TREMENDOUSLY
> > ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW,
> > IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK
> > TO THE
> > OFFICE, DO WE?"
> >
> > I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
> > SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
> >
> > AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND
> > SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO
> > THE BEDROOM
> > FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
> >
> > "OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
> >
> > SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF
> > MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE...
> > FOLLOWED BY
> > MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS?OF MY FRIENDS AND
> > CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING
> > "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
> >
> > AND I JUST SAT THERE...
> >
> > ON THE COUCH...
> >
> > NAKED.
>

[dave o]

:lol :lol :lol :lol
cracker that one conk. goodun:tup