live long

[conker]

A tough old redneck counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103.
When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great-great grand children, and a 15 foot hole in the ground where the crematorium used to be.